End of the Season

I am a crier. Anyone who has played for me knows… I am a crier. I have NEVER once been brought to tears because of a loss. I feel if you prepare and give your best effort then you have done all you can. Someone has to lose. You walk away, hopefully learn something and come back and do it again another day. It doesn’t mean I like losing. It doesn’t mean I am not competitive. My favorite part about coaching, my addiction is the competition. I won’t allow myself the negative energy of crying about a loss. I am not judging anyone who does, but that just isn’t me. I do however cry about winning, about moments of pride that an individual or the team provides. It’s never easy saying goodbye at the end of the season to the seniors who will not be returning – that makes me cry too.

There are some things in coaching that seem unfair – the losses stay with you far more than you enjoy the wins. I can’t remember the last time I slept straight through a night during a season. Waking regularly, with a mind that won’t stop is the job’s curse. Regardless of how successful you deem your season to be there is usually only one champion. Every year there are young men that have meant something to me personally and to our program that you have to say goodbye to.

North Carolina coach, Roy Williams will never forget how this year’s National Championship ended. He will replay in his mind forever all the things that he wishes they may have done to avoid Villanova’s Kris Jenkins’ game winning three as time expired. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Coach Williams was quoted afterward as saying he felt inadequate. He looked completely devastated and defeated. He felt terrible for his kids. That is what stings more than anything. Your team is in a position to be remembered forever and accomplish something that is so rare. Not only do you not do it but you realize that some of your players will never have the chance to do it again. Just like that… the end of the season. You don’t get to “retire” on your terms. The final game is almost always a loss.

End of the Season = Full Emotion

When we lost our final game this year at the Nationals it was my turn to face the team and say goodbye to our group of seniors. We have been fortunate to have had a lot of success over the last five years. The guys leaving have all been a part of that success. Jeff Hunt, who won the most games in school history, was our last link to our National Championship five years ago – he was our seventh man as a freshman. He leaves us with two conference championships, a National Championship, two other trips to Nationals and two conference championship silver medals. He is the most decorated athlete in school history. How do you say goodbye to someone who has meant so much to the program and to my life…. you cry. OJ Watson, Pat Iavarone, Kojo Afari, Steven Dely and Jerome Gayle are also leaving. All mean so much. It is tough. I am happy and excited to follow them as they become husbands, fathers and successful members of the community. But for that day and that moment they face the stark reality that they may never play anything as competitive as what they just finished… with a loss. It is emotional. We cry not because we lost but because we are losing something very important to us. For me I am losing them. For them they are losing the competition, the day to day grind, the camaraderie that is team sport. All the life lessons that they learn through sport now get to be put into practice.

Now I move on and finish my club season with my daughter’s under-14 team. Next week is our Provincial Championships. Regardless of how it ends there is a very good chance that this will be the last time I coach those girls. We have been coaching them for four years. I am crying while I type this. The end of the season does that. I am proud of how much they have improved in four years. They won’t remember that part of it as they age. They won’t remember the wins and losses. They will remember how much fun they had together. Some of them will remain friends for life. Others will keep in touch as today’s age allows us to do with relative ease. I know I will cry again when I start hearing of them making their high school teams. That was our ultimate goal when we started; we wanted all of them to make their high school teams if they so desired.

Yes, I am a crier. I won’t apologize for that. As the great North Carolina State coach Jimmy Valvano said in his epic ESPY’s speech he gave while in the last months of his life, dying of cancer (video below). “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think, you should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day, you do that seven days a week you’re going to have something special.” Amen!

(video courtesy of The V Foundation for Cancer Research)

Leadership

Great leadership on the bench and on the court can make the difference between playing for championships or playing in the consolation rounds.

The great debate about leadership is whether leaders are born or made. I believe the greatest leaders are born. They have that innate ability and instinct to encourage and bring out the best in people. They have a natural gift to effectively assess a situation, make a decision and positively influence the outcome. They know the right thing to say or do at the right moment.

If you haven’t been genetically appointed as a leader, fear not, leadership skills can be learned. Learning to become a leader takes conscious thought and effort; it’s a process that involves making mistakes. Your experiences and the lessons you learn along the way will make you a more confident and competent leader.

Leadership Style

If you want to get the most out of your players and help them grow, you must use positive leadership skills – get excited, be encouraging, show them you care. The old-school, drill sergeant ways are a thing of the past. There are too many options for kids these days, why would they choose to play a sport where they continually get yelled at? …and it certainly won’t help them reach their true potential.

A common mistake many coaches and companies make is to assign the most vocal person a leadership role. The strongest leaders I’ve ever coached weren’t always the biggest talkers. They were, however, ALWAYS the hardest workers. Hard work on the court is the foundation for the respect earned from your teammates. These players were always encouraging, even in criticism. They had a way to be critical with someone without that person even realizing what was happening. They would find a way to push the necessary button to tell a teammate that we needed more from them without having that person being offended. If it is done correctly it is far more effective than a coach giving the same feedback.

The problem is, in my 21 years of coaching I have only had a handful of players who could lead at that level. I have had many more players who ‘thought’ they were leaders and were very vocal but never really knew how to effectively influence their teammates.

Negative leadership is much worse than having no leadership. I would rather provide all the leadership myself as opposed to having someone just vocal enough to influence the room but not aware enough to make it positive. As a coach, this can be problematic, often these individuals are skilled players and difficult to reason with. If they’re affecting the group negatively, you may have to decide if everyone would be better off without that individual. Part of being a positive leader is making tough decisions to ensure the group has on optimal atmosphere for growth and success.

I believe my perspective on leadership is unique because I don’t think you have to name a captain. In fact, I have NOT named a captain the last four seasons. FIBA rules don’t require you to meet at half before the game so there is no official reason to have a captain. I allow my seniors to accept any championship trophies we may win. This hasn’t hindered our performance or growth in any way; we have had our best seasons “captain-less”. The simple act of being appointed a team captain doesn’t make you a leader. The great leaders don’t need to be named. If I asked my team who the leaders are I am certain they would all name the same two or three players.

When I was in grade 13, (remember grade 13?) I played with a guy who was a starter as a grade 11. We won a city championship and he was a major contributor. He was a small forward who had a good year and was a good three point shooter. We played for a coach who was old school. He was a good coach but not quick with a compliment and very quick with the hook if you weren’t living up to his expectations. I was a ‘glass overflowing’ kind of guy and always tried to keep things positive amongst the guys. I went away to University, then College and eventually started coaching and this same guy ended up as an assistant of mine. I knew that in his grade 12 and 13 seasons they had lost the city championship but I hadn’t come back from school to see them play. I asked about how well he shot the ball over those last two seasons and he told me he rarely shot from distance. I was puzzled. I asked why not when you had shot it so well in grade 11. He laughed and said “because you weren’t there to tell me it was okay to miss.”

I don’t think he realized what an impact that comment had on me. I have coached for 21 years, played for 15 before that and have been in management in business for over 20 years and that is the single best compliment I have ever received. It told me that I was pushing the right buttons with my teammate to make him feel confident at all times. It told me that if I continue the same process as a coach and manager that I could have success. It made me believe I could lead people.

The Basketball Coaching Roadmap

Successful Basketball Coaches Shine in These Seven Areas

As a family we have been lucky enough to experience basketball through various lenses; coach, player, scout, fan, parent and casual observer. The older I get the more I reflect on my fondest memories. When I re-live basketball experiences with my brothers, Brian and Brady (co-founders of Coach Calls Timeout) or past teammates it always comes back to one thing – relationships. Sure, the games and individual plays were fantastic but the team dinners, hotel stays and locker room chats outweigh anything that happened on the court.

Coaching is very similar to teaching or parenting – you must develop and nurture relationships to increase everyone’s chances for success. As a coach, how can you develop those relationships? How do you get the most out of the interactions with your players? How do you become more successful?

Before we continue any further, it’s important to define “success”. We believe success is measured through experiences, not wins and losses. Creating positive, lasting experiences equates to successful coaching. Your players will respond, develop, improve and reach their potential more frequently under these conditions.

So, let’s get back to you. How can you build a positive coach/player relationship? We have spent many hours analyzing the most successful coaches we’ve encountered in our basketball lives. The very successful ones approach relationship building similarly. We have created a Basketball Coaching Roadmap that examines seven areas where successful coaches shine.

You may be naturally good in some of these areas and the others will be items to improve upon. In the next two months we will explore each area in depth; a new article will be posted with relevant stories and actionable advice to help you improve. The seven areas can be found below, just click the buttons for each article.