Dealing with Difficult Players or Parents

I have to be one of the luckiest coaches in history. I have coached for over 20 years and can count on one hand the amount of confrontations I have had with parents about their kid’s playing time or role on the team. To be fair, outside of the four club years with my daughter’s teams I have strictly coached varsity boy’s high school or men’s college teams. Parents tend to let young adults deal with those issues on their own, but I also think there are little things you can do, as a coach, that will reduce those issues (more on that in a bit).

On the rare occasion I’ve had these discussions it is never fun and certainly not easy. Generally speaking, parents have tunnel vision; they only see what is best for their child. They also tend to have an over-inflated view of their child’s abilities. There is one constant that all coaches must understand… it will be your fault if their child doesn’t play more or have a larger role. Self-evaluation is difficult; it’s even harder when you are evaluating your own child.

Now that we understand most parents’ point of view, we are a little more equipped to handle, or better yet, limit these difficult conversations – regardless of playing time and role. I believe there are two pillars to effective leadership, communication and honesty. Both of these ideals will make your coaching life easier in the long run.

RELATED ARTICLE: The Basketball Coaching Roadmap – 7 Areas Where All Successful Coaches Shine

When dealing with difficult players or parents you must be honest; you can’t sugar coat things. It is imperative for team success that they understand your point of view and there can’t be any grey area. Do not promise anything you can’t deliver just to get out of an uncomfortable conversation. Never compromise the group for any one individual or parent.

I believe a lot of these situations can be avoided with constant communication with your players. The more you talk to your players the easier it is to see when they are unsatisfied. Do NOT avoid it. Ask them what’s up. Deal with it head on and remain honest (but don’t be a dick about it). They may not like your response but they will respect your approach. If you let it fester you may lose that player, or worse, that player will start talking to other players.

“…it will be your fault if their child doesn’t play more or have a larger role. Self-evaluation is difficult; it’s even harder when you are evaluating your own child.”

As I think about my days as a player in the context of this discussion, two stories jump out at me:

First, I remember playing a particularly difficult exhibition game. It was the kind of game the players looked at it as an exciting challenge to show how good we really were. It was also the kind of game our coach probably knew we were heavily outmatched on the road and stood little chance of putting up much of a fight. The coach made a very unusual change to our starting line-up that day. He started someone (we’ll call him Craig) in the back court with me that played very few minutes and usually played in defensive roles. We got killed that day and Craig was exposed as a mediocre defender and really struggled offensively against that level of competition. I was a captain and had a good relationship with the coach so after the game I asked him why the change was made. He told me Craig had been complaining about minutes and felt he was the best guard on the team and should be starting. The coach tried communication and honesty but he couldn’t get through to Craig so his last option was to show him. Sometimes honesty can be uncomfortable, but the film session later that week showed Craig why he was not ready yet. More importantly it gave him valuable information on what he needed to improve. After that game and film session I don’t remember Craig complaining around the team for the rest of the season.

The second story involves the same coach. We were playing a home game against a team we would have been favored to beat. I played a particularly poor game and found myself on the bench for the last five minutes of a close game. We eventually lost and this was my first experience on the bench during crunch time. I did not handle it well. I truly believed that if I had been out there we had a better chance to win. It angered me. Right after the post-game talk by our coach I followed him out of the locker room and told him what I thought. He tried communicating to me that he was doing what he felt would give us the best chance to win at that point. I didn’t like the answer so I called him at home that night to talk further. The next day before practice I confronted him again. Finally, we agreed to disagree (reluctantly on my part). It wasn’t until many years later when I had been coaching for a while when it hit me. He was saving me from myself. I didn’t deserve to be out there at the end of that game. I had already had my chance to affect the game and didn’t do a good job. He was doing what he felt was best for the team. I saw him a few years later and recalled the story. I am not sure he even remembered the incident but I reassured him that he was 100% right, and that I now understood.

Unfortunately communication and honesty aren’t always met with open arms. It is your job as the leader and coach to ensure that disagreement does not affect the team negatively. Communication lines must remain open. Sometimes it’s okay for players to openly disagree with you. Good leaders are not dictators; good leaders are open communicators, great listeners and honest people. Constant, honest communication will result in parents and players who understand your view and align with the team’s goals and direction.

On that note, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite coaching/dad moments…

My daughter floated between the 11th to the 8th player on our depth chart in the four years she played for me. I approached her one day to talk about her lack of playing time. She cut me off before I could get started…. “Dad, I know you are only doing what you feel is best for the team, it’s ok. I’ll keep working and see if I can move up”…. are you kidding me? My 12 year old daughter already understood what took me years to figure out. It made me cry.

5 Tips to Become a More Effective Coach

The best basketball coaches are as much psychologists as they are strategists or teachers of the game. I was fortunate over my time as a player to play for many good coaches. Although I played at both the University and College levels my favorite coach was someone who coached me at ages 10 and 11. His name is Ron Dawson.

From what I remember Coach Dawson was adequate at teaching the game but his real strength was connecting with his players. He had an expression he would use sometimes, “let’s play animal ball.” On paper it wasn’t a strategy that would be considered effective since it mostly resulted in everyone chasing the ball but we won a TON of tournaments. We didn’t win because we played ‘animal ball’, we won because he made us believe in him. He built relationships with all of us. I always felt important around him. I always felt I was better than I actually was. He would always yell “Who’s a Team?” to which we would respond “WE ARE!” To this day I use that same rallying cry with my teams. It is inscribed inside the band of our National Championship rings.

Coach Dawson was in the minority. When I grew up there seemed to be less worry about finding the right buttons to push to get the most out of someone. There was a common theme of dictatorship and the majority of coaches yelled at everyone within range. That was their one and only move. The players responded out of fear. There is still some of that today but a growing sector of the population would now consider that bullying (and rightfully so). Old school coaches usually counter that by saying today’s generation is soft. As in most discussions about topics that span generations the truth probably lies somewhere between the two extremes.

The reality is that everyone is different. The more you talk to someone and observe them, the more you understand them. Simple, right? As we’ll discuss in this article the process of gaining that understanding is critical for success. Your goal as a coach is to build a relationship with each player. The foundations of your relationships are based on how much you genuinely try to connect. If you truly care about your players it will show through. Relationships with players are strengthened with every question you ask about them as a person, not just a player.

A coach’s ability to challenge players becomes a huge piece in the team dynamic. How successful you are at it will have a dramatic impact in your team’s success. You need your players to respond to challenges with focus, a sense of responsibility to the team and a desire to overcome. What kind of response would you expect to this scenario? It’s the biggest moment of a game, you call timeout and look a player in the eyes and ask “we need you to stop your man on this possession, can you do that for us?” Yes, every player will accept that challenge, but there is a huge difference in how hard they try when they truly feel a sense of responsibility to more than themselves. If you have put in the time to build strong relationships and genuinely care for your players as people, you will get the result you desired more often than not.

I’d like to challenge all the coaches out there. Below is a list of five coaching tips to help you become more effective. Go to practice this week and use these tips. Help build relationships with your players and develop their trust in you as a coach and a person. That trust is required for your players to not only accept your challenges but to thrive while doing so. If you’re currently not using these tips you will love the new energy your team finds in the coming weeks.

“The foundations of your relationships are based on how much you genuinely try to connect. If you truly care about your players it will show through.”

ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS. Even when you know the answers, still ask the questions. You want players who are always on their toes, focused and engaged. You want them to think about the answer before you even ask. The activity of a player thinking about a response is much more memorable than you dictating the answer.

This goes for your players too. Encourage them to ask questions when they’re unsure – if one player has a question that usually means others have the same question. Players remember their peers’ questions more than they will remember you talking at them. Besides, the whole team benefits when everyone’s questions are answered.

YELL WITH A PURPOSE. Most coaches yell because they are angry about something. Channel that anger and focus on the message. Your job is to communicate that message in a manner that will be received with open ears. Yelling derogatory things at a player does not build upon that relationship. One quick tip: don’t correct in the moment, emotions are usually too raw, wait for a better, quieter time.

That being said, I also believe yelling can be a very effective tool. Be careful though, the more you reach for that tool the less receptive your players become. Limit yelling to four or five times a year. There is magic to infrequently raising your voice. One word of caution, do not EVER make it personal… EVER. Remember, whatever it was that upset you there is something to be learned from it. Find a way to make the yelling meaningful.

HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH EVERY PLAYER EVERY DAY. You don’t need to go into deep and time consuming conversations. What was your favorite class that you had today? Are you doing anything fun this weekend? It is your job to make time for these conversations. Have them while everyone is waiting for the practice before you to end, during warm-ups or cool down time. Every time you talk to a player one on one about something other than basketball you connect. It matters to them that the coach sees them as more than just a player.

RELATED ARTICLE: The Seven Areas All Successful Coaches Shine

YOUR GOAL IS TO GET PLAYERS BUYING IN BECAUSE THEY WANT TO. You will always have better results when someone does something they also believe in. Forcing a player to do something they don’t want to do or aren’t comfortable doing rarely works out well. Put your players in situations they can succeed in. While talking with your players you will learn more about their personalities, preferences and interests. This will make it much easier to understand which player will succeed in which situation.

Sometimes you won’t have a single player on your team that can succeed in a certain situation. Maybe you don’t have any shooters on your team. Don’t give up, find the hardest working player on your team, tell him/her you need a shooter real bad this year and you believe it could be them. That player may not become the shooter you need but you can bet they will work hard to impress you and improve a lot more than they would have otherwise.

FIND THE MAGIC BUTTON FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL. Some players respond well when yelled at. Some recoil. Some respond to being centered out and others will go into a shell. Some players only respond to positive reinforcement. That’s not for you to change. And it’s not the players’ role to adjust to your style. Part of your job description as the adult, the leader and the coach is to adapt to your surroundings. The previous four tips will lead you directly to the answers for this one. Not all players are created equal. Similarly, you can’t expect their personalities to be the same either. Learn about your players, find out what makes each person tic and vary your approach accordingly. Your team will overachieve on all levels.

Being a great coach doesn’t always require you to be the strongest at the X’s and O’s but ALL the great coaches find a way to connect!

A Painfully Long Season

Anyone that has coached for a significant amount of time has experienced a painfully long season. In the nine seasons I spent as the head coach of a varsity high school basketball team I was fortunate to have coached some very talented teams and players and was a part of some championship seasons. That success led me to where I have been for the past 12 seasons, head coach of the men’s basketball team at Mohawk College.

In my 21 seasons as a head coach I have experienced plenty of defeat and failure.

My first season as a high school head coach was more than forgettable; our record was 1-25. To make matters worse, I wasn’t even there the day we won our only game!

Few will remember the transition year between my first great team in season four and the next great team in season six (at least I hope not).

It’s difficult to be consistently strong at the high school level when you can’t recruit players. Success becomes a moving target. Championships, no matter how great the coach, are not always a realistic or accurate indicator of success. Most of the time success should be measured by your team and players’ improvement throughout the season, by the experiences they shared, by the relationships they formed, and yes, by the fun they had. If you cannot bring yourself to include those factors into the success equation you will not improve as a coach, your experiences will be tainted, your relationships will sour and coaching won’t be fun.

As I transitioned to the College level I expected to take three or four years to get my feet wet and understand the challenges of building my own program. I expected to struggle early and I could live with that as long as I believed my teams were getting better throughout season and I was also progressing and learning in my role.

From seasons two to season six we could beat the best teams in the country on any given night, and occasionally did, but we were not good enough to do it consistently. In season seven we broke through and won our National Championship. For four straight years after that we never left the National Top 10 rankings.

I bring all this up maybe as a means to protect myself from the memory of last year… From a record stand point it was a disaster. For the first time in eight seasons we missed the playoffs. We realized going into the season that it was going to be a challenge. We had a great back court but we lost our experienced front court players and depth all at once.

“After some serious self-reflection I came to a harsh but obvious conclusion… I was the biggest reason for our painfully long season. I failed as the captain of the ship.”

When your team fails and you’re the leader, perhaps the hardest thing to do is critically look back at your own performance.

Was I the reason we didn’t succeed?

Could I have done something differently to lessen the disappointment?

After some serious self-reflection I came to a harsh but obvious conclusion… I was the biggest reason for our painfully long season. I failed as the captain of the ship.

RELATED ARTICLE: Self Awareness, The Basketball Coaching Roadmap

We had really good kids; they were all fun to be around. As I alluded to earlier, our biggest challenge was overcoming our youth and inexperience. Nine of the thirteen players had not experienced any of our program’s success. Only the back court had played significant minutes in our biggest games.

When I look at that last paragraph, it seems obvious what I could have done differently.

I have always thought one of my strengths was my ability to adapt and design a plan to take advantage of our strengths in order to give us the absolute best chance for success. This team could really shoot the ball and we were never going to be a strong rebounding team. We felt we could pressure and get after teams in the full court. I had a plan in my mind. It might not be a championship caliber team but my glass is always half full. I believed we would get better and our game plan would put us in a position to beat anyone on any given night by the end of the year.

“I needed to take control early on. I needed to push them harder; show them how to compete every day. Show them the importance of hard work and the good that comes from it.”

What I didn’t adapt to was the personality of the group. I had become accustomed to the older, self-starting, player driven teams we had for the past five seasons. They were teams that needed me to design, develop and teach the strategy necessary to show us our best path but I didn’t have to push them to get there. They enjoyed the work, they embraced the process; a process that they learned from the previous group of players.

RELATED ARTICLE:Adaptability, The Basketball Coaching Roadmap

This group was different. They needed me to be the leader every day. I needed to take control early on. I needed to push them harder; show them how to compete every day. Show them the importance of hard work and the good that comes from it.

I sat back and let things happen even though I could feel we needed more. I let the team down. They didn’t get the experience they should have. We should have been a playoff team despite our perceived short comings.

Our strong recruiting class also struggled in the classroom which makes me feel as if I had let them down on and off the court. In short… I DID A TERRIBLE JOB!

It has taken 21 years as a head coach to realize that my job is to constantly evaluate what I am doing… during good seasons, mediocre ones and especially bad ones. ALWAYS look at yourself first. You have one thing the rest of the team does not… the ability to have the final say in the direction you want to head. Maybe you need to scrap what you’re doing mid-season. Maybe you have to remove a player with great talent who is stifling the group. You CAN’T stop trying different things when you are not satisfied with the direction you are headed. But the bottom line is YOU need to accept responsibility for what is happening.

I have accepted responsibility for painfully long season. I wish I had done so sooner. If I had we might have made the playoffs, we would have shared more positive experiences, had more time to form stronger relationships and definitely had more fun. I vow to learn from last season and work harder to make necessary adjustments sooner. I vow to provide better leadership to the next team!

End of the Season

I am a crier. Anyone who has played for me knows… I am a crier. I have NEVER once been brought to tears because of a loss. I feel if you prepare and give your best effort then you have done all you can. Someone has to lose. You walk away, hopefully learn something and come back and do it again another day. It doesn’t mean I like losing. It doesn’t mean I am not competitive. My favorite part about coaching, my addiction is the competition. I won’t allow myself the negative energy of crying about a loss. I am not judging anyone who does, but that just isn’t me. I do however cry about winning, about moments of pride that an individual or the team provides. It’s never easy saying goodbye at the end of the season to the seniors who will not be returning – that makes me cry too.

There are some things in coaching that seem unfair – the losses stay with you far more than you enjoy the wins. I can’t remember the last time I slept straight through a night during a season. Waking regularly, with a mind that won’t stop is the job’s curse. Regardless of how successful you deem your season to be there is usually only one champion. Every year there are young men that have meant something to me personally and to our program that you have to say goodbye to.

North Carolina coach, Roy Williams will never forget how this year’s National Championship ended. He will replay in his mind forever all the things that he wishes they may have done to avoid Villanova’s Kris Jenkins’ game winning three as time expired. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Coach Williams was quoted afterward as saying he felt inadequate. He looked completely devastated and defeated. He felt terrible for his kids. That is what stings more than anything. Your team is in a position to be remembered forever and accomplish something that is so rare. Not only do you not do it but you realize that some of your players will never have the chance to do it again. Just like that… the end of the season. You don’t get to “retire” on your terms. The final game is almost always a loss.

End of the Season = Full Emotion

When we lost our final game this year at the Nationals it was my turn to face the team and say goodbye to our group of seniors. We have been fortunate to have had a lot of success over the last five years. The guys leaving have all been a part of that success. Jeff Hunt, who won the most games in school history, was our last link to our National Championship five years ago – he was our seventh man as a freshman. He leaves us with two conference championships, a National Championship, two other trips to Nationals and two conference championship silver medals. He is the most decorated athlete in school history. How do you say goodbye to someone who has meant so much to the program and to my life…. you cry. OJ Watson, Pat Iavarone, Kojo Afari, Steven Dely and Jerome Gayle are also leaving. All mean so much. It is tough. I am happy and excited to follow them as they become husbands, fathers and successful members of the community. But for that day and that moment they face the stark reality that they may never play anything as competitive as what they just finished… with a loss. It is emotional. We cry not because we lost but because we are losing something very important to us. For me I am losing them. For them they are losing the competition, the day to day grind, the camaraderie that is team sport. All the life lessons that they learn through sport now get to be put into practice.

Now I move on and finish my club season with my daughter’s under-14 team. Next week is our Provincial Championships. Regardless of how it ends there is a very good chance that this will be the last time I coach those girls. We have been coaching them for four years. I am crying while I type this. The end of the season does that. I am proud of how much they have improved in four years. They won’t remember that part of it as they age. They won’t remember the wins and losses. They will remember how much fun they had together. Some of them will remain friends for life. Others will keep in touch as today’s age allows us to do with relative ease. I know I will cry again when I start hearing of them making their high school teams. That was our ultimate goal when we started; we wanted all of them to make their high school teams if they so desired.

Yes, I am a crier. I won’t apologize for that. As the great North Carolina State coach Jimmy Valvano said in his epic ESPY’s speech he gave while in the last months of his life, dying of cancer (video below). “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think, you should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day, you do that seven days a week you’re going to have something special.” Amen!

(video courtesy of The V Foundation for Cancer Research)

Be A Mentor

Mentor: an experienced and trusted adviser.

Basketball coaches are uniquely positioned to be a mentor to their players. Coaches can support and guide players to overcome challenges and inspire them to work harder than they ever imagined they could. Another opportunity lies in mentoring your coaching staff. By sharing your expertise, you can help them to grow into confident, positive community leaders. I believe both aspects are of equal importance.

It’s useful to keep in mind that every season, you can count on knowing that at least half of your players’ main interests likely lie outside of basketball. This is especially true in the younger divisions where adults make most of their decisions for them – they are convinced to play or they believe it’s what people think they should be doing. As much as you push, prod or wish they may never take basketball as seriously as you do. That’s why it’s so important that your focus isn’t solely basketball related. Over half of your audience won’t remember a single play or drill 20 years from now but almost all will remember a coach who believed in them and genuinely cared about their happiness.

When I was 24, I had just finished playing in College and had started my journey into the ‘real world,’ operating an indoor sports facility. At the same time I received a call from Dennis Kings whom I had known since I was a young boy – that call would change my life for the better. He had currently been overseeing the basketball operations at a newer high school in Brantford, Ontario. He asked if I would be interested in coming and joining him to coach the boys program. He was coaching the junior varsity team at the time and I would be an assistant for a year with the varsity squad. A year later I would start a nine year run as the varsity head coach. I wasn’t really sure what I was getting into when I first agreed, but Dennis sought me out because he saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself. I loved coaching almost immediately and I immersed myself in it. It consumed my thinking. I absolutely loved the process of taking a group of players and trying to compete with the best teams in the province – and we did.

Dennis was always there for me and to this day remains my number one coaching mentor. He has always been able to maintain a calm demeanor in tough situations. He can take a step back and evaluate something logically and rationally. When I ran through situations on and off the court I knew I could count on him for a sound, experienced piece of advice. He never interfered. He always offered options when asked but rarely offered unsolicited advice. He allowed me to make mistakes. After I had left the high school ranks and started my College coaching career, he remained by my side. My fifth season at Mohawk College I attempted to run a system that was extremely out of the box. It was a tough sell to the players; the season was a disaster, my worst ever. It wasn’t fun; I had lost my team’s acceptance and in my head I was planning an exit strategy.

Two things are responsible for why I’m still coaching today. The first is a meeting I had with Dennis where I laid out the scenario and how I was feeling. One thing he said to me stuck with me to this day: if something isn’t working then try something else. If that doesn’t work, try something else. Keep trying different approaches.

We weren’t talking about X’s and O’s at this point. We were talking about my approach with the players, the process and our relationships. I took his advice to heart and to this day I keep evolving and changing strategies and I am conscious of doing this especially when we’re struggling.

The second reason I am still coaching is that in the midst of that miserable season there were three guys who showed remarkable leadership abilities and continued to work hard executing the system even though I am sure they thought I was crazy. It is no coincidence that two of those three players are now running a successful AAU program and have become great coaches.

I urge all coaches to take your role as a mentor very seriously, there is nothing more satisfying than watching former players or members of your coaching staff surpass your level of knowledge and positively influence many other young people in the process.

Leadership

Great leadership on the bench and on the court can make the difference between playing for championships or playing in the consolation rounds.

The great debate about leadership is whether leaders are born or made. I believe the greatest leaders are born. They have that innate ability and instinct to encourage and bring out the best in people. They have a natural gift to effectively assess a situation, make a decision and positively influence the outcome. They know the right thing to say or do at the right moment.

If you haven’t been genetically appointed as a leader, fear not, leadership skills can be learned. Learning to become a leader takes conscious thought and effort; it’s a process that involves making mistakes. Your experiences and the lessons you learn along the way will make you a more confident and competent leader.

Leadership Style

If you want to get the most out of your players and help them grow, you must use positive leadership skills – get excited, be encouraging, show them you care. The old-school, drill sergeant ways are a thing of the past. There are too many options for kids these days, why would they choose to play a sport where they continually get yelled at? …and it certainly won’t help them reach their true potential.

A common mistake many coaches and companies make is to assign the most vocal person a leadership role. The strongest leaders I’ve ever coached weren’t always the biggest talkers. They were, however, ALWAYS the hardest workers. Hard work on the court is the foundation for the respect earned from your teammates. These players were always encouraging, even in criticism. They had a way to be critical with someone without that person even realizing what was happening. They would find a way to push the necessary button to tell a teammate that we needed more from them without having that person being offended. If it is done correctly it is far more effective than a coach giving the same feedback.

The problem is, in my 21 years of coaching I have only had a handful of players who could lead at that level. I have had many more players who ‘thought’ they were leaders and were very vocal but never really knew how to effectively influence their teammates.

Negative leadership is much worse than having no leadership. I would rather provide all the leadership myself as opposed to having someone just vocal enough to influence the room but not aware enough to make it positive. As a coach, this can be problematic, often these individuals are skilled players and difficult to reason with. If they’re affecting the group negatively, you may have to decide if everyone would be better off without that individual. Part of being a positive leader is making tough decisions to ensure the group has on optimal atmosphere for growth and success.

I believe my perspective on leadership is unique because I don’t think you have to name a captain. In fact, I have NOT named a captain the last four seasons. FIBA rules don’t require you to meet at half before the game so there is no official reason to have a captain. I allow my seniors to accept any championship trophies we may win. This hasn’t hindered our performance or growth in any way; we have had our best seasons “captain-less”. The simple act of being appointed a team captain doesn’t make you a leader. The great leaders don’t need to be named. If I asked my team who the leaders are I am certain they would all name the same two or three players.

When I was in grade 13, (remember grade 13?) I played with a guy who was a starter as a grade 11. We won a city championship and he was a major contributor. He was a small forward who had a good year and was a good three point shooter. We played for a coach who was old school. He was a good coach but not quick with a compliment and very quick with the hook if you weren’t living up to his expectations. I was a ‘glass overflowing’ kind of guy and always tried to keep things positive amongst the guys. I went away to University, then College and eventually started coaching and this same guy ended up as an assistant of mine. I knew that in his grade 12 and 13 seasons they had lost the city championship but I hadn’t come back from school to see them play. I asked about how well he shot the ball over those last two seasons and he told me he rarely shot from distance. I was puzzled. I asked why not when you had shot it so well in grade 11. He laughed and said “because you weren’t there to tell me it was okay to miss.”

I don’t think he realized what an impact that comment had on me. I have coached for 21 years, played for 15 before that and have been in management in business for over 20 years and that is the single best compliment I have ever received. It told me that I was pushing the right buttons with my teammate to make him feel confident at all times. It told me that if I continue the same process as a coach and manager that I could have success. It made me believe I could lead people.

Self-Awareness – The Basketball Coaching Roadmap

Does Self-Awareness Help You Become A Better Coach?

The capacity to self-reflect is essential when implementing the steps of the Basketball Coaching Roadmap – Communication, Organization, Adaptability, Consistency, Honesty and Encouragement. You might be surprised to hear self-awareness is so important since it’s not a technical skill and has little to do with your knowledge of basketball drills and plays. It’s a human skill; one that offers you the opportunity to deepen your understanding of yourself and your players. It’s through that process that success emerges.

Over time, self-awareness allows you to become intimately familiar with your coaching strengths and weaknesses. If you think this sounds easy, give it a try. There are all kinds of barriers that are likely to interfere. It’s hard to admit that you don’t always have the answer; you make mistakes and you have limitations. You can’t possibly know everything about basketball – maybe you’re lacking knowledge about post play and the drills required for development. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses helps you to plan accordingly; highlight your strengths and seek help to improve your weaknesses. This understanding allows you to become part of your team. You display positive behaviour and you work to improve alongside your players with the aim of becoming stronger together.

One of the biggest benefits of self-awareness is simply, knowing how you are doing. Coaching can be a stressful and demanding task. Players, parents and communities expect a lot from coaches and have their own ideas about how the team should be functioning. Many coaches are volunteering or dedicating their time to coaching in addition to having a full-time job or other responsibilities. It’s important to regularly check in with yourself and take necessary measures to avoid the pitfalls of stress. It’s nearly impossible to remain encouraging, stay organized, be honest and build successful relationships when you’re burnt out and exhausted. Self-awareness allows you to intervene earlier so that you can get the rest or self-care you need before your mood starts to impact the team.

When we started this season I believed we could contend in March. I knew the journey would not be without roadblocks and bumps to overcome. You might think that describes all seasons but we have been lucky to experience only minimal setbacks in the last few years. We surprised everyone and probably over achieved the first half of the season going undefeated in 17 games against Canadian College competition. January has been a different story, last night we lost our second game in a row. The first lost was on the road to the defending National Champions and we played pretty well and had a chance to win.

Last night, we lost at home to a good Niagara squad. After each game I assess my own performance with the intention of becoming a better coach and improving our team. I try not to let this process consume me but I’m not always successful – especially after a losing streak. It’s something that I am aware of and will continue to work on. To summarize my post-game thoughts, I wasn’t happy with everyone’s performance, including myself. I am optimistic that we are capable of bouncing back and moving forward but failure has a funny way of casting a giant shadow of doubt. This is the first real setback for our season and it is my job to remove that doubt and lead us down a path of improvement, not blame.

If you had told me before the season started that we would be leading the conference and only have two losses in late January I would have taken that in a heartbeat. I need to make my players and coaches aware of the big picture and understand that even in defeat we can get better.

This semester we have lost a few players to injuries and Christmas departures which have affected our regular practice routine. I need to be doing a better job helping everyone move forward and work together with the players currently available. In the coming weeks we will work to improve our focus during practices which will help us become more prepared for the upcoming game.

In my journey to become more self-aware, I have found it helpful to do four things:

1. Define our team’s philosophy (what we want to be known for) and expectations. Does their performance in games and practices align with the philosophy and expectation?
2. Define the type of coach I want to be (e.g. positive energy, communicative, honest, consistent, etc.)
3. During times of struggle, ask myself “does this parallel anything happening in my own life right now?” (e.g. if I’m feeling less confident as a coach lately, does the team play with less confidence?)
4. Live in the moment. Use the present to get better, the past to learn and the future to hold our goals.

All four require constant attention throughout the season. Paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and how they influence your decisions and reactions will come more naturally over time (something I’m still working on). Eventually new thoughts and ideas will emerge and advance your abilities to succeed as a coach.

Finally, self-awareness comes not only from your ability to self-reflect but from hearing feedback from others. Your capacity to receive feedback without feeling a need to defend your actions will empower your players. That empowerment will allow them to speak freely and think creatively, inspiring thoughts and solutions you never considered. Just like with you, new thoughts and ideas will emerge within your players which will advance your abilities to succeed as a team.